“Summer days, drifting away to OH OH the suh-uh-mmah nights!“
What a fun summer sing-a-long song! That is until it’s blaring from the TV the morning after a particularly booze-filled summer ni(hiiiii)ght. Here’s how to stop your hangover dead in its tracks so you can get back to that sweet summertime feelin’ and havin’ a bla-ast.
Go for a swim
Summer is the best season to take advantage of this amazing technique. Cold water helps you wake up, gets your blood circulating, and washes off the (physical) remnants of whatever you don’t want to remember from the night before. It’s the not-as-horrible version of going for a run that gives your battered body a little gravitational support.
Head to a pool (or the nearest body of water), ease into it, and flail your limbs around until you feel alive again. Envision that scene from the second Hunger Games movie where Peeta and Katniss lay in the water and can see all the poison leaking out of their wounds. That’s what taking a swim after a rough night out feels like, only a lot less gross.
Go for some grease
No, not the musical. This time, we mean real grease. There’s a reason that gooey bacon, egg, and cheese is on everyone’s Insta story on Sunday morning. Yes, it tastes delicious, but it’s more likely because it’s doing the very important job of rerailing your derailed body’s natural rhythms that you so carelessly disregarded last evening.
If you’re not particularly here for the grease – or if your nausea is getting the better of you – you should at least dive into some carbs that will soak up the alcohol remnants and feed your mind and body the fuel it needs to get up off the bathroom floor. This is your excuse to order a ridiculously gigantic bagel that has no chance of being eaten in a civilized manner (your body needs it).
Back to childhood
Even though Pedialyte was originally created for sick and dehydrated children, many hungover adults could be described in the same way. The brand has since embraced its dual functionality and even says on its website that Pedialyte “can help with the dehydration you may experience after a couple of cocktails.”
Our friends over at Pedialyte claim to pack in twice the electrolyte sodium of other sports drinks with less than half of the sugar, so it’ll definitely work better than the Gatorade you’ve been relying on for so long. Cool it down in the fridge first for optimal cooling effects on both your taste buds and internal organs.
If the idea of a cool dunk in the pool is just too much for your fragile state of mind and body, find a nearby steam room and melt your worries away. Alcohol comes out through your sweat glands, so steaming it up is a great way to purge your body of the leftover alcohol molecules rocking around in your tissues. Just be sure to chug some hydrating liquids beforehand, as steam rooms aren’t exactly known for making you feel more hydrated.
Bring in the big guns
Okay, it’s the morning after a wild beach bash and you have just awoken with the Godfather of hangovers. Crashing headache, crushing body aches, and a stomach so furious it won’t let you offer any kind of edible olive branch. This is the time to grab your wallet and beg your body for forgiveness. For that, we’re going intravenous.
Services like The I.V. Doc are popping up everywhere these days, offering a flood of symptom-relieving fluids that can be pumped straight into your bloodstream when you need them most. Not fond of the idea of braving the sunlight and noise of the outside world? No mobility, no problem – they’ll come to you. Food poisoning recovery, flu relief, and migraine mitigation can also be provided by the magic of the I.V., so don’t hesitate to get comfortable with just one prick of pain that opens the door to a world of relief.